I am a Pearly Conure. I have a girl's name but I am really a boy. I am training to be a Premiership Footballer.
Bird
http://twitter.com/JemimaTheParrot

151 followers

51 tweets

JemimaTheParrot Automatica 1: Automatic writing eh, waiting for some ghostly spirit of inspiration to take over my hands and brain... http://bit.ly/b9AgML

by Jemima, Bird

JemimaTheParrot My top 10 albums of the last 10 years, reviewed in only 10 words: Someone sent me the challenge of coming up with m... http://bit.ly/8upWhl

by Jemima, Bird

JemimaTheParrot Poppy Power: Remember remember the 11th of November. It's hard to forget when there are so many poppies knockin.. http://bit.ly/61x4w

by Jemima, Bird

JemimaTheParrot Vagina Dentata: I owe this little parody to one ropey comedian, and one very misunderstood heckle.Why, when I wa.. http://bit.ly/n4CdT

by Jemima, Bird

JemimaTheParrot Play Me, I'm Yours: Having discovered one of these pianos at Liverpool Street as I was wending my tipsy way home.. http://bit.ly/BHopc

by Jemima, Bird

JemimaTheParrot Give me an A: As proud as I am of my initials, I'm sadly bereft of a middle name (contrary to popular belief tha.. http://bit.ly/6eWXO

by Jemima, Bird

JemimaTheParrot Claire, Queen of Condiments: They say you can tell an awful lot about someone from the contents of their refridg.. http://bit.ly/15dCm3

by Jemima, Bird

JemimaTheParrot Stars: I might not be the brightest star in the galaxy, But when night falls, if you're afraid of the dark, You'.. http://bit.ly/LE50U

by Jemima, Bird

JemimaTheParrot Word to your Malt Loaf: Here's a little tribute to two of my favourite things: Stop, collaborate and listen,I gott.. http://bit.ly/ltGeE

by Jemima, Bird

JemimaTheParrot @JimmyTheParrot I wouldn't stress yet, soon as she brings him home we'll tag team him beak stylee-always good for getting rid of competition

by Jemima, Bird

JemimaTheParrot Still reeling from last night's footie, what a load of rubbish, I've got more ball skills in my beak than that bunch of Mancunian ballbags!

by Jemima, Bird

JemimaTheParrot Why is it when she gets on that exercise machine I get the uncontrollable urge to have sexy time with my perch and a monkey nut?

by Jemima, Bird

JemimaTheParrot She dribbles up the left, nutmegs the keeper and it's a GOOOOAAAAALLLL! Conures United 1 - Manchester United nul points! Huzzah!

by Jemima, Bird

JemimaTheParrot Hoping to make my television debut later. I am very excited to have eaten banana on cue. Surely stardom awaits...Jimmy, however, was shit.

by Jemima, Bird

JemimaTheParrot Not sure what to do today? Text 2DO2DAY2U to 63336 to have weird, wonderful and wacky activities sent directly to you!

by Jemima, Bird

JemimaTheParrot I am glad she is happy once again. This pleases me. I think it is all the regurgitated seed I've been giving her. A job well done.

by Jemima, Bird

JemimaTheParrot I am clearly the best cheer up plan ever: there's no way she could be sad with me scampering round the floor, nipping her toes and vomiting.

by Jemima, Bird

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